What would cause you more hurt than hurting yourself?
For me, it's watching the hurt caused to your loved ones and not being able to do anything about it. The anxiety rising from a helpless situation. What would you do to relieve the pain for someone you love?
Seeing them going through a crisis while suffering with agony and all you can do is look at them through the video camera and smile while trying to be strong because deep inside you know that you have to be positive to them, trying to give them strength while they lose control seeing you.
Why everything have to be so hard?
Since past couple of months my grandfather is battling high sugar levels, foot infection and ultimately kidney disease. He had only one kidney since past 15 years as doctors had to take one out because of kidney stones.
My grandfather as you might know, has always been the most happiest person in the house. I loved hanging out with him. I enjoyed his company, he used to pamper me and my sister to food we liked and he used to cook for me.
Time creates more converts than religion.
Living here by myself since past 5 years turned me to this independent strong person who can take on anything in life but I miss everybody back home. I haven't seen my family since 3 and half years now and man I am so ready to go home soon. I just want to help my grandfather regain his strength and get settled with his health. His kidney gave up with GFR of 9.7%, for the ones who don't know Glomerular Filtration Rate. In adults, the normal GFR number is 90 or higher, A GFR below 60 is abnormal. The GFR test should be repeated. GFR below 60 that persists for 3 months or more means chronic kidney disease. Your health care professional may refer you to a nephrologist (kidney specialist) for evaluation and treatment. Then at a GFR below 15 indicates kidney failure.
Someone with kidney failure needs dialysis or a kidney transplant to survive.
My grandfather needed dialysis so my dad took him to a kidney specialist. They wanted to perform a dialysis immediately but his sugar levels were so high they had to keep him under observation for days because until his levels dropped to normal they couldn't do much.
I spoke to him and he was so scared for his first dialysis, he looked so sick it broke my heart to see him in a state like that, but I knew feeling scared will not help him much. I mustered all the courage I had in me to comfort him and make him feel stronger. He underwent dialysis after 3 days of hospitalization and then got discharged.
I have been calling him everyday to check on him. I guess that's the least I can do for now when I am not there to actually make him feel stronger and better. We both run real tight in the family.
He will always be my hero who showed me what to dream for. He served his country in his youth and I wanted that for my future too but I guess one way or the other I will find a way to serve humanity at the end.
The 3rd day after the dialysis when I spoke to him, he sounded like his casual self, carefree happy man. He was delighted. More than his words, listening to his voice, so well and good made me happy.
I guess we work all our lives to make that money we need for our necessities but at the end of the day it's about the well-being of your loved ones.
You may be anyone in the world, doing well in terms of job and money but if your loved ones are going through some crisis that creates a void in your world. I think when you reach a certain age and you look back, the only source of your happiness is the number of people who you want to you love you, actually love you. No matter how hard you try not to break but there comes a point when you need one of your own to assure you that everything will be okay and that they're right by your side.
To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors. I am going through some health issues as well but seeing him sick made me forget all of my worries.
I was just trying to educate my family members that are back home about various things they can do to make him feel better.
As funny as it might sound to you, I was ready to give him one of my kidneys though that would not have helped him much but I wanted to help in any way I can. Its amazing how love makes us do certain things in life. How just to see your loved ones happy you are ready to give up your happiness.
My grandfather has finally started his dialysis journey and I hope he settles well with it. This one goes out for the parents or people whose loved ones are going through some health issues.
There will come a time when things will get better till then do not lose hope and remember I am here and I understand.
I hope you do too.