Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Life teaches you in mysterious ways. It molds and casts you in manners you may not understand immediately but if you look closely in nature you'll realize that nature puts everything to its test before it gets transformed into something much more valuable. Gold is casted, forged in extreme heat and is continuously hammered to the point where it loses it identity and is transformed into liquid. That's when the careful hands of a goldsmith fabricate it into a marvelous piece of jewelry. It has to lose its identity in order to meet its true worth. Carbon when put through unreal pressure rises to becoming a diamond. Similarly, hardships and difficulties in life make you realize your strength like you've never experienced before and frame your persona into a better, stronger person in every aspect, only if you choose to go on.
I have been living by myself in Australia for almost 7 years now and I feel that God has humbled me in innumerable ways. I have developed an appreciation towards the meaningful and learnt to devoid myself of the unnecessary noise.
Looking back in time, I have moved afar from the brat version of me. I had some qualities in-borne. I was always kind and helpful towards others. I never hesitated to extend a helping hand even to people who were not fond of me. I was always outspoken and blunt. The honesty came at a price. It resulted in many broken bonds and at times imperiled my financial stability.
I find people amusing. They tend to be good to you only until the situation favors them and the next moment they can turn around and spit on your face. I had a hard time coping with behaviors, before I finally understood that people behave only as their intrinsic characteristic allows them to.
Once you understand someone's intrinsic character, it reveals the person's behavior to you as an open book. I understand it much better now, the colors more vivid. I try to accompany the ones who fan my flames and for the rest, I wish them peace with their lives and get along with mine.
One fine day, the company I worked for, decided that they do not need to run the store anymore. So, the news was announced and just like that, me and my coworkers were made redundant. I tried reasoning with the decision in my head as it was very inconvenient, but I then realized that I cannot understand their position as a company and a business for why they did what they did. We were given about a week's notice to look for another job and move on. This was my first experience of being laid off but I handled it professionally. It didn't bother me that much. The feeling of being broke certainly isn't good, especially when you're all by yourself but I was definite that it will all work out. I think everybody has their specific defense mechanism which tends to find a way out once put into a difficult situation.
I was left with a little savings and ample time. I did not feel motivated enough to deal with it all at once. After my last day at work, I decided to visit my parents in India, clear out my head and then come back to deal with life. Initially, I was planning to go by the end of the year but the spontaneous lay off left me nothing better to do so I thought it would be better if I just be with my family for some time.
Just when I booked the Air India flights from Sydney to New Delhi, I realized I'll be meeting all of my family after 4 years. I kept wondering so much has happened in these 4 years. I felt a surge of longing and excitement to go home but at the same time, I was worried about my cats because me being in India means that I'll have to leave them behind.It was the first time ever in 3 years that I am gonna be away from Igor and Thor for a more than just a day.
Meanwhile, I was scorching through online sites for a pet caretaker and negotiating with the interested ones, Alex leaped in as my savior. She made sure my cats were comfortable in the house and were fed everyday while I was at home. I was stressing out about them so much, I could not thank her enough.
Once the cats were provisioned for, I put out some of my savings to buy gifts for every one at home.
I couldn't afford a lot of expenses, so I kept it as modest as I could.
I was getting random thoughts about how good it would be to finally be at home, sleep in my own bed and I could taste mother's food and make up for the years I've missed it. I could finally be with Taran, and meet my friends after so long, driving around the town in my father's new car. Above all, I would finally be able to be with my grandfather and look for him. I packed all of my insulin supplies and medicines, enough to last for a month. I packed my clothes, then opened the suit case again to repack it, the anticipation was rising and I couldn't wait longer.
The day finally came when my uncle drove me to the Sydney Airport. I was sad to leave my cats behind but at the same time, too delighted to meet my parents. The flight was uncomfortable and mercilessly long but none of that could reduce my excitement.
While I was in the flight, I was mentally preparing a bucket list for the things I would like to do while I'm at home but little did I know that life had something else for me in the store.
The trip to India was an eye-opener for me in terms I had never anticipated in my worst nightmares.