I know it's not Thanksgiving, but I'd like for me to say what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful to be alive, to have a job, and to be sober. Most of us perceive Life as an endless journey, contemplating Normal as a stereotype. We do a lot of things thinking that whatever we do is not going to affect our lives.
A lot of times we come across people who choose to turn a blind eye towards the gifts Life has presented them with. I meet people everyday who think that the sole purpose of their life is to pass your time while you're here, and then go away.
After encountering a lot of such specimens, I decided that it should not be the case with me. I have felt death inching towards me to an extent that every second felt like an year passing by. I made it out alive but I realized there must be a reason for it.
The most graceless moments in my life made me realize the importance of the most gracious moments. The moments I wanted to live again when it felt like they are just slipping by. That's when I realized that we're just a fragment in a castle of glass.
I actualized that everything in our lives is so feeble that it can be taken away with the blink of an eye, that's when I felt my ego, hate, envy and deception fade away. I felt that I shouldn't be the one to take everything for granted.
I was trying hard to keep everything under control but I went through an unfortunate set of circumstances. There were times when it felt like everything is falling apart.
In August 2016, I was admitted in the hospital for Aspiration pneumonia.
But since I got discharged I was still feeling sick and my sugar levels used to be so high despite me eating so little carbs. Being like that for a week and a half I started getting worried that something else might be wrong so I went in to see my GP, sitting in his office I was explaining to him how I was feeling so sick. He examined me and asked me to get some blood and urine tests done. I got them done the same day. As I was getting ready for work the next day, my phone rang.
It was my doctor.
He told me that my Potassium levels are off the roof and that I should go to emergency as soon as possible and get it checked again. I took it on a light note and joked to the doctor if I can go in the next morning as I did not want to miss work that night.
A grave seriousness took over his tone. He told me that high potassium levels make the heart beat in an irregular manner and can lead to a cardiac arrest if not treated promptly.
I understood the gravity of the situation and rushed to the hospital in my work clothes. I asked the doctors in emergency to perform the tests again and it was actually alarmingly high.
Without any ado, they admitted me instantly and put me on fluids. They gave me a liquid to drink that binds to potassium molecules present in the body and help to flush them off along with urine. It tasted so awful as if I am drinking sand mixed with water. I called up my boss and he arranged to get my dinner delivered along with food for whole of the emergency ward for the night.
Before finishing their shifts the nurse and doctors came to meet me at my bed. They were grateful for the food and asked me if I was doing okay.
I felt like a VIP that night. It felt good being treated with so much care. I had to stay in for the night at the hospital. They shifted me to same ward where I was admitted before for Aspirated pneumonia. The nurses who remembered me from the last visit greeted me and asked me how I was doing. I slept like a baby for the whole night.
I was so worked out from all the stress and doctors trying to find a vein in my arms to stick the cannula in. I am a very difficult person for doctors to find veins to do blood tests and stick the cannula in for fluids.
Doctors tried a lot of brainstorming but they couldn't find any possible reason for Potassium levels to go so high. After doing a lot of research all night long, the doctors concluded in the morning that my kidney medicine might be responsible for high potassium levels so they took me off the medicines for a couple of weeks.
The verdict couldn't last long as I have really bad kidneys. So, they had to put me on the medics back again but since then I haven't had an episode of high potassium. Potassium actually makes your sugar levels go high and makes you feel lethargic and sick. I get anemia every now and then too because of my kidneys so I have to get Iron infusion done every couple of months but I've accepted the reality.
I am at peace with it.
Many of us fight for and boast our freedom of what is ultimately the ability to prove ourselves to other people. It is unfortunate that only a few of us are so free in our joy, we no longer feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone. I feel like one of those few.
For the rest, there's always hope.
The unteachable man is sentenced to being taught only by experience.
The tragedy is he reaches nothing further than his own pain.
I have stepped out of my comfort zone and set out on a sail to the unknown horizons.
I hope you do too.